When Changes Can Create A New Life

Let Your Old Dreams Die & Allow Your Second Life To Blossom.

My favorite person has a saying, “You never know in life.” Behind that saying can be many things, but for me, it’s a positive, enduring, child-like hopefulness, an eternal optimism that sees all of life’s changes, obstacles, surprises and challenges as opportunities… if we have the openness and mindset to see it that way.

We have all gone through challenges and changes in our lives, especially when you are ‘over 50’ as we are. Some of those changes have been thrust upon us. Some are ones that take over gradually. And some we have to push ourselves to make.

Sometimes our idea of the way life is suppose to be, or even our dream of what we thought our life was, is not true.. or at least not lasting. These dreams can be very good, but they are not always the best for where our life is now. Some of us had the dream of the marriage that would last a lifetime. And we held onto that dream so tightly that it became an idol. It no longer was just the person or the marriage, but the idea or the image of the ‘perfect marriage’ that we held on to. And that idol became our pride, our accomplishment, our life. We may not have known it at the time, but it was an idol none-the-less.

There are many things that can become idols: children, a business, a career, a house, a friendship, even a pet. What starts out as something very good, can take over us and actually begin to control us, and we can’t let it go. Can you relate to this? Can you see any idols in your life?

But then the idol comes crashing down in an explosion of unexpected fury. And we try to hold onto that idol of marriage, (or whatever your idol is/was) no matter what. With pain, anger, hurt and tears, we scratch and claw to try to ‘save’ our idol. But we are powerless to save it and that awful, painful change is thrust upon us. (Caveat here: I am the strongest believer in a life long marriage that should be honored and held onto to. This example is about making the sacredness of marriage into to something it was never intended to be. Just wanted to be clear about that. ;))

But! and this is the important but…without change, even, and maybe more so, painful change, we do not grow. And being able to let go of those big idols is a powerful way to allow good, healthy change to occur. Don’t get me wrong, it can be incredibly painful to let those dreams die, to let go of that idol, especially one that has been such an ingrained part of our life. But when we allow ourselves to let go…when we allow grace and forgiveness, (of the pain-causing person or situation and ourselves) then we can be free to see life again. To see its different opportunities as tremendous blessings.

Our story is just that, a story about me and you. The making, and sometimes, breaking, of our ‘person’. Who we were at some point in time, who we are now, and the more ‘person’ we will become. But that making and breaking takes change. And oh how we can resist change! UGH!

Change is never easy, especially the change that is unexpectedly thrust upon us. But if we can see it differently; if we can have patience to ride out the storm and whirlwind when that change is occurring, we will see something beautiful. We will begin to blossom and bloom into a person we could not have imagined when we were suffocating under our self created idol.

And maybe, just maybe, we can begin to see that dream for what it was, an idol that needed to come down. A dream that needed to die in order for new dreams, a new life to emerge. And oh! when we can allow ourselves to see the truth, to let go of the past dreams, the ‘shouldve’s’ and the walls that no longer serve us, that actually held us back, then we allow ourselves to grow, to change…dare I say it…to be happy; to allow ourselves to be who we really are, not just a painted-on image of a person of the old dream, but the real, awesome, amazing, unique, complicated person we really are.

There is so much more to ourselves, so much more possibility in life than we think there is or even knew there could be. But it takes change to see it. It can take allowing old dreams to die so new ones can take root and grow. That takes a lot of courage, my friend. Courage, strength, determination, openness, grace and forgiveness. But when we let that change in, a whole new life can open up. You made it through the fire. You may have some scars, some burn marks on your heart and soul, but you are stronger, more courageous and open to new and better dreams than before the old dream died.

Now, we can be more like my favorite person and say, “You never know in life…” and mean it. We have the opportunity, the happiness, the newness in ourselves, to create new dreams and goals; dreams to see, to strive for, and to believe in. But let’s be careful…let’s keep them from becoming idols. Hold on to the new dream, but maybe not so tightly as before. We learned the pain of idolatry and we do not want to repeat it.

So dream big! Dream smart! Allow your imagination to soar! Allow that growth and change! Allow yourself to be the authentic, real, amazing person you are. And then see where this beautiful thing called life takes you!

Let’s start a conversation. Do you have any dreams that might need to change…or die? Do you have some new dreams or goals? Sometimes sharing those goals gets us one step closer to achieving them. So leave a comment and let’s share together.

Thanks for reading and remember…Someday…is Today!

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