A Colorblind Society Starts with Each of Us.
Race, color, injustice, prejudice…this is such a hot button, emotional topic that I wasn’t sure I wanted to write about it. There could be backlash, disagreements, anger even…..But then, I have a voice too, however small. My voice matters too. Even if I don’t go around yelling at people or bullying on the internet. But maybe someone will read this and think about what I’ve said and maybe, just maybe, a small change could happen.
So here are my thoughts on the current events involving race. First, I want to say, my heart goes out to all the people directly affected by the chaos swirling right now; the families of love ones who have been unjustly treated or killed; the business and livelihoods that have been destroyed by riots; the friends and family who have been divided over this. My solution is not complicated, nor is it the only way to help but to have a truly colorblind society, we must stop labeling everyone.
And just in case you are wondering…no, I do not know what it’s like to be a black woman, or a black man, in this society. I have not lived in her shoes or experienced her life. However, neither do they know what it’s like to be a white woman or Asian woman in this society. We all have our own stories, experiences and lives and I cannot live your story or truly understand it, because I am not living it. But neither can you tell me how I am supposed to live out my own story. For some, no matter what is said, it will be perceived as wrong. There is no one, perfect and right way to approach this serious problem.
I cannot change the condition of someone’s heart. No one can. No protest or riot or violence will ever change a heart…unless it stops a heart through death…for anyone.
In my opinion, and again, you may not agree and that’s fine, but in my opinion, the more protests and violence that come up about ‘race’, the more separated and divided we become. Because that very act of protesting or bullying or yelling about race keeps the issue alive. I am definitely for equality and justice for all. And I will stand with anyone who wants the same thing. But focusing on race is not helping the injustice.
Because, if we truly want a color-blind society, then why do we even have to say “BLACK lives matter”. Yes, they do. Of course they do! But so does the single white woman’s life matter who is trying to make ends meet with two jobs. So does the skinny white boy’s life matter who gets beat up everyday. So does the Hispanic man’s life matter who toils and sweats in a produce field to feed his family. So do the millions of aborted babies’ lives matter. Every single human life matters, no matter what color you are.
The thing is, when we have to label someone black or brown, we are only perpetuating the problem; because we are now forced to see him or her as ‘black’ rather than just as a woman or man or an individual. I do not want to be labeled a ‘white woman’. I want to be labeled a strong woman, an independent woman, or a free spirited woman, regardless of the color of my skin. And I suspect that is what my ‘black’ sisters want as well; to simply be a woman…without the label of color.
Again, no, I cannot stand in your shoes and know what kind of inequality or injustice you may have suffered or someone you love has suffered. But you also cannot stand in my shoes and know my suffering, my inequality or injustice. We are all so quick to judge the intentions of others. And that serves NO ONE. Because someone does not think like me or do exactly what I think they should do in a situation, does not mean they are wrong or against me or do not ‘stand’ with me. And it is arrogant for me, or you, to think that we have the right to tell someone different than us what he or she should think or do.
Racism is a HUGE problem. But at the center, it is a huge HEART problem. And the only way to move forward is to change hearts, which no amount of yelling or bullying will change. In fact, this tends to do the opposite. When someone pushes you, the natural tendency is to push back. It’s simple physics. When an unstoppable force meets an immoveable object, either stagnation or total destruction occurs. And that is what happens when one ‘side’ tries to force their ways and opinions onto the other ‘side’. There has to be giving and understanding from both sides in order to move forward.
So we cannot change hearts nor force someone to think like us. So what can we do?
1. Stop labeling people.
You are a woman. Not just a black or white woman; a beautiful, strong courageous woman (or man). Be that label. Don’t limit yourself with a color label. You want a colorblind society. Then start with yourself. Be colorblind in your own labeling.
2. Take action in your own circle of influence.
Getting on the bandwagon and putting up little Memes and cartoons on Facebook about how you “stand with ‘black lives matter’” does nothing to help your neighbor who needs a job to feed his family. It might make you ‘feel’ like you did something. That somehow, by putting up this cartoon or black square, you are somehow showing your ‘solidarity’ with that group, but then you go about your life taking no action. Sentiments are just that, a nice Hallmark card you get but then throw away.
So instead of the yelling, instead of the little pictures and sentiments, actually make a difference in an actual persons’ life.
- Go out of your way to do your business and shopping at a small store instead of the big box store. Yes, it’s more expensive but you are helping your neighbor.
- Hire the young boy down the street to do your yard work. No matter what color he is.
- Invite the neighbor family who looks different than you to dinner. Or maybe, bring them something and introduce yourself and start a conversation and maybe even a relationship.
- Teach our very young from the beginning to be colorblind. No labels. None! It starts with parents at home.
- Treat EVERYONE with kindness, compassion, and courtesy. Smile at everyone, rather than averting your eyes because they look different.
We do not know their story. But we can still show them love. We can choose to see past the outside. Whether it’s the color of their skin, the dirty clothes or fancy clothes they wear, the way they style their hair or whatever, chose to look at them as a real individual; a person, a human, with their own tragic and beautiful story to tell. And then take the time to hear their story. Not a black or white story…their human story.
We cannot change hearts and we cannot change ruthless, evil people. But we can change ourselves, and how we treat people and respond to situations. Anger, hatred and violence solve nothing.
You can make a difference in your own neighborhood. Be the person who sees past the outside, and find the beautiful soul within each person.
Choose to do what you can do, however small. And stop the judgments, the yelling, and the platitudes. Take action in your own sphere of influence. Change is slow, but there can be progress if we work on ourselves first and then our immediate circle of influence.
My heart hurts and goes out to all the families and businesses that have been affected by these riots and violence, and especially those families who have lost a love one because of race.
We can and must be colorblind. We can look past skin to see a person’s character. No more labels. A colorblind society is achievable. But we must start with ourselves and our own circle of influence and see past the skin to their beautiful, God-made soul.
Blessings to you, beautiful friend.
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